I fucked up
Oct. 2nd, 2009 09:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
paradoxI posted:
Saying "your privileged ass is showing" isn't calling someone out on their privilege in a way that will be useful. It's using a specific term as an insult to antagonise, rather than educate. If, instead, we said something like "When you said this, did you realise how it sounds to people who disagree with your stance? Too often we see that used as a defense of this form of oppression, by people of this privilege. Have you asked yourself whether your privilege is affecting your understanding of this issue?" etc.
If you want people to see that their privilege is affecting their judgement, then it's much more effective to show them how. I also think this is especially important when the people you see as acting from privilege are also identifying as part of the oppressed community.
I understand righteous anger, and I think it's a great tool for fighting oppression (apathy helps no-one!). However, I think it's important to use that anger in a constructive way, if you really want to make effect some change. If you just wanna vent, that's a whole 'nother thing. And that's what private journals are for, versus communities.
I still believe that oppression is best fought with education. Maybe that is part of my privilege as a middle-class Pakeha. YMMV.
And got called on it. Fuckity fuck fuck, how did I not see this? I was honestly trying to avoid the 'tone argument' bullshit, wherein someone basically says to the oppressed, "You'd get a better response if you were nicer." FUCK. I hate that shit myself. There's few things worse, when you're angry at oppression, than someone derailing it by talking about your attitude. And then I go and do it myself.
NOTE TO SELF: MJ, if you see oppressed people in an anti-oppression community "being rude" to those they see as privileged, SHUT THE HELL UP. Even if you are one of the oppressed. Especially if you are one of the privileged. It's not rudeness. It's the passion that comes from honesty.
I'd apologise to the community concerned, but I know that it's my issue, not theirs.
Saying "your privileged ass is showing" isn't calling someone out on their privilege in a way that will be useful. It's using a specific term as an insult to antagonise, rather than educate. If, instead, we said something like "When you said this, did you realise how it sounds to people who disagree with your stance? Too often we see that used as a defense of this form of oppression, by people of this privilege. Have you asked yourself whether your privilege is affecting your understanding of this issue?" etc.
If you want people to see that their privilege is affecting their judgement, then it's much more effective to show them how. I also think this is especially important when the people you see as acting from privilege are also identifying as part of the oppressed community.
I understand righteous anger, and I think it's a great tool for fighting oppression (apathy helps no-one!). However, I think it's important to use that anger in a constructive way, if you really want to make effect some change. If you just wanna vent, that's a whole 'nother thing. And that's what private journals are for, versus communities.
I still believe that oppression is best fought with education. Maybe that is part of my privilege as a middle-class Pakeha. YMMV.
And got called on it. Fuckity fuck fuck, how did I not see this? I was honestly trying to avoid the 'tone argument' bullshit, wherein someone basically says to the oppressed, "You'd get a better response if you were nicer." FUCK. I hate that shit myself. There's few things worse, when you're angry at oppression, than someone derailing it by talking about your attitude. And then I go and do it myself.
NOTE TO SELF: MJ, if you see oppressed people in an anti-oppression community "being rude" to those they see as privileged, SHUT THE HELL UP. Even if you are one of the oppressed. Especially if you are one of the privileged. It's not rudeness. It's the passion that comes from honesty.
I'd apologise to the community concerned, but I know that it's my issue, not theirs.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-02 06:52 am (UTC)You'll do better next time around. (If not, you'll do better the time after that.) Good luck!
no subject
Date: 2009-10-02 10:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-05 08:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-05 09:25 am (UTC)So what happens is that words without context are taken somehow personally.
Even though one might assume that something is obvious to everyone reading, amazingly it is often the individual filters getting in the way of neutral reading.
It occurred to me that my comment above was a prime example. My filters on who is being a PA and someone else's may in fact be different. Baffling sometimes...huh?