fayanora: Steph Sleepy (Steph Sleepy)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-09-06 03:41 am

This doesn't happen often anymore.

I'm sick with something. I think a cold? And that is highly unusual for me. I can't even remember how many years it's been since I caught any kind of contagious disease, but it's been between five years and ten years, if not longer.

See, when I was a small child, I got sick with variations on the cold constantly. I was always stuffed up, often with a runny nose and every now and then sneezing out great green gobs of nose mucus that would stretch out towards the ground, so I would always carry facial tissues, and no matter how many I had, it was never enough. This continued for so long, uninterrupted, that I could not taste anything growing up, which is why I used to drink coffee and eat very spicy foods when I was little, because I could actually taste those things. I also loved really bitter foods like crab apples and lemons for the same reason. This continued so long that I can no longer breathe through my nose unless I'm concentrating on doing so.

Then puberty hit, and I started getting ill less often. By high school, it was down to a few times a year at most. When I hit my 20's, I stopped getting sick at all. Yes, eventually that constant sickness was replaced by the side effects of depression and anxiety, and eventually I got IBS, but I am 85% sure I've not had a cold or flu more than once or twice since hitting 20.

So yeah, having a cold now is intensely unusual for me now. Luckily, I am not stuffed up, nor do I have a runny nose. The first symptom was a mildly sore throat. Then I noticed my muscles were getting achy. And I was a bit too warm.

I took some pain reliever for the achiness and took a nap. That was 9:25 PM. I woke up half an hour ago (3 AM) after having had the same oddly familiar fever dream over and over and over again for that whole time. Now I'm awake, my throat feels better but still mildly sore. I still ache all over, but I think my temperature is back to normal. Can't be sure. Oh, and I feel like I'm floating languidly through a river of molasses, which is some kind of brain fog.

I ate some fruit (mango, strawberry, and blueberry mix), had some iced tea, had a bologna sandwich, and had some Oreos. Now I've written this all down I'm gonna go watch some YouTube.
fayanora: Avatar dino (Avatar dino)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-09-05 01:15 am

The Eternal Prairie and the Vah'zyahl

While out coming back from the grocery store where I had gotten a new light bulb, I spontaneously remembered something I used to do waaaay back in high school: writing these first-person perspective stories taking place in a setting called "the Eternal Prairie." This was a realm that was basically an infinite plane best described as "flat Earth, but infinite" except that like, the ground was equivalent to the floor of that universe -- dig deep enough down and you literally cannot go any further because you've hit the absolute floor of the universe. Similarly, the sky was like the ceiling: if you flew high up enough, eventually you would hit that ceiling and be unable to go any further. But in all other directions, that realm was infinite, and that whole infinite plane had various terrain and biomes on it, including plate tectonics. The name "the Eternal Prairie" was technically a misnomer, as prairie was just the first biome I explored in that realm. And it wasn't even the one I went to most of the time; usually I would pick a forested or slightly wooded biome, mainly to swim in streams and lakes and stuff.

I word it that way because these stories were basically self-insert demi-fiction. IE, I was writing them as though they were accurate accounts of real trips to that realm, which functionally was just an excuse for me to escape mentally to a world with no people, where I could run around naked and safely swim and do whatever else I wanted to do. And I do mean safely; one of the things I remember about the setting was that it was impossible to be hurt or drown or die while there. Animals there were always benevolent as long as you try to didn't hurt them first. Mostly, though, the animals kept their distance. Also, I could shape-shift.

Some details I have forgotten. I know there was a day/night cycle there, but given it's an infinite plane, there's nowhere for a sun to go, so I don't recall how that worked. I may have even handwaved it away. I'm pretty sure I wrote dozens of these stories, but I only have one remaining story in my possession, which I put in my book of shadows at some point. I skimmed it a bit ago, and was reminded that the alora fruit and cylinder fruit that eventually ended up in Traipah first appeared in the Eternal Prairie stories.

I think there may have also been connections between the Eternal Prairie stuff and my Vah'zyahl stuff, long before they were called the Vah'zyahl. The Vah'zyahl are another series of stories I tell myself to this day, starting back in high school, involving being part of a post-human collective with disposable/swappable 'meat puppet' bodies. IE, blank cloned (mostly biological) cyborg bodies that are super hard to kill because they have Deadpool-level healing due to nanites in their system; their tech gives them all kinds of amazing powers, too. There are hive minds among the Vah'zyahl, always by choice and only offered to of-age adults, but mostly they just use their nanites to body-swap into any form they want to (robots, aliens, other genders, etc) and to have what is essentially a form of always-on (unless they choose to disconnect) Internet in their heads, though the Vah'zyahl Omni-net is beyond massive; the modern world's entire data storage and processing of all its computers ever made (including smart phones and tablets) would fit into half a gram of Vah'zyahl nanites, and the Vah'zyahl equivalent to a very small server farm is a Matryoshka Brain that measures both storage and processing space in yottabytes (10^24 bytes) and xenottabytes (10^27 bytes), if not larger.

Anyway, one of the big things about the Vah'zyahl is, they are avid explorers of both the universe and the multiverse, using technology-based portals (and I'm fairly sure I usually 'got to' the Eternal Prairie using Vah'zyahl tech). Their tech is basically They even show up a bit in my Ravenstone series, name-dropped on occasion, and there's a few side characters who are part of the Vah'zyahl culture, first introduced in book six, and showing up again in book 7. The Vah'zyahl also ultimately have their roots in Traipah. In fact, their name -- Vah'zyahl -- is a deliberate misspelling of the Traipahgnanog words/phrase 'vahzii ahl,' which means 'many one.' Which when properly interpreted in context means "the many are one" / "many=one." Also it's a pun on the similarity between the TPNN word "ahl" and the English word "all."

The main reason I'm talking about all this is, I'm sort of tempted to go back to writing "Eternal Prairie" stories, because my life is very boring and I could use an escape. Still debating whether to write them the same way I did before, or to change things up and make a proper shareable story about it, with someone else from our world finding the place instead, an escape from their horrible job and stressful life under capitalism. Probably the first one, TBH. I could really use a setting and story type that let me write solely for my own pleasure, without it having to be any good. Also, if I wrote it as proper fiction, I would have to write that character's shitty life, even if just for a few pages to start with, and I would rather not.
scaramouche: She-Ra's sword, animated (she-ra's sword is sparkly)
Annie D ([personal profile] scaramouche) wrote2025-08-31 07:05 pm
Entry tags:

Book Log: Rick Astley - Never

I was in the city over the (last) weekend, which meant that although I have an on-going resolution to not buy any books until I've cleared my still-unread book stack, this was an exception. A big exception! But an exception all the same because I rarely go into the city, so I got a whole bag of books that I will rotate in reading with the still-unread book stack, and one day, maybe, I will clear all of them.

Rick Astley's recent autobiography Never was not on my to-read list, but I picked it up on a whim, and as soon as I got home, apparently it was the one I was most excited about starting, so I did. I think because I'd recently enjoyed his cover of Chappell Roan's "Pink Pony Club", plus Dave Grohl mentioned him in his autobiography when I read it (and had to dig it up to reread his version of the same meeting that Astley mentions in his book).

So like, comparing to the handful of other musician autobiographies I've read (specifically: Dave Grohl, Bruce Springsteen, Tina Turner and Phil Collins), Astley's is very different in the sense that he really is Just Some Dude. He loves music and loves making music, but he isn't POSSESSED by the urge to make&perform music the way that's very clear for those other musicians I've mentioned, and since he got swept up in the commercial music-making machine when he was young (not very young, but young enough), he didn't get to cut his teeth performing on the circuit and figure out his own strengths. All musicians may be limited by commercial interests, but it seems to me that a consequence of that, plus the lack of a mentor, Astley didn't get much of a voice of his own that first time round as he exploded as a pop star, which gave a specific kind of hit to his confidence and perception of self (which isn't imposter syndrome, but something else). Boy was convinced most of the "genuine" musicians around him hated and/or wanted nothing to do with him, despite being proven wrong again and again.

By Astley's own admission he feels that he doesn't "deserve" to write an autobiog because he doesn't have that much music out, but that's just not true, man. His experiences are fascinating because it really is a case of luck coming in to revive his career (he had juuuuust the amount of psychological understanding of the Rickroll to, uh, roll with it, which took off after he dipped his toes back into the industry), and although he can't go back to the heights of the 80s, his second go-round has been firmly on his own terms and been so much more freeing for him to express himself, through writing and producing his own music, performing as a drummer again in his punk band, and embracing nostalgia performances. Which is neat! And reading about that is also neat.

Though also reading about the 80s pop machine from someone who lived it is also super neat and actually terrifying, which is the meat of the book. He's really lucky in that he got out of it relatively unscathed (which he's well-aware of) and that glimpse into how easy it is for a sheltered person to be dumped into a world you don't understand and be taken advantage of because you just don't know any better and don't even know you can say no to things -- it's a tale as old as time, but still good to read the someone's actual lived experience in a specific place and time period.

While reading the book, I listened to some of his newer tracks, and I quite like some of 'em! Most of them recorded at home and with him performing all the instruments, even.



fayanora: cognitive hazard (cognitive hazard)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-30 10:29 pm

The Fermi paradox

I've been hearing a lot lately about various complicated solutions to the Fermi paradox, and it's kind of annoying because my solution is very simple: no other planet in the universe is home to anyone insane enough or evil enough to mass murder their own kind and pollute the planet they live on for short-term gains, at least not in enough numbers to be a real threat to the rest of their kind/world. We humans alone are insane / evil to enough of a degree as a species for industrialization and capitalism to exist. Everyone else in the galaxy, and maybe everyone else in the universe, is just chilling out going no further than being holistic, eco-friendly agricultural communities freely sharing their bounty with one another because they're all the same species and they're all sane and rational beings. Unlike humans.

Sure, they'll never get into space that way, but they also won't have to deal with only getting about five to seven thousand years of civilization out of the deal before their planet starts becoming inhospitable to them because of their own stupidity and evil. They won't have to deal with nuking themselves to extinction, or worse. Odds are pretty good most of them will get at least twenty or thirty thousand years, or even millions of years, of civilization before something kills them all off.
fayanora: lil girl knife (lil girl knife)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-30 10:02 pm

TERFs go die in a fucking fire.

I wish Shinigami Eyes worked on the Tumblr app on my phone. I'm getting so fucking tired of accidentally reblogging TERF scum. Especially those claiming to be leftists.

A note for everyone: you cannot be a leftist if you are a TERF. TERF ideology is inherently right-wing. You cannot be antifa and be a TERF. TERF ideology is inherently fascist. If you are a TERF, your ideology is closer to Hitler and Mussolini than to any form of leftism. Even centrist liberals are more progressive than any TERF.
fayanora: Ye Olde Goldyn Appyl Presse (YOGAP)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-30 09:23 pm

A sports post by YOGAP

A post by YOGAP on BlueSky

This is how insipid and stupid most sports sounds to me.

(Image is a post by Ye Olde Goldyn Appyl Presse on BlueSky reading " #YOGAP #Sports news: Arabella Bellacini Rappanucciano Cappucino of #Italy wins 1st place in the international " #Peekaboo " competition, beating 5 time consecutive winner Xiao Xing Song of #Taiwan, who got 2nd place. A. Cappucino, who is paid 1.4 billion #Euros a year, is said to be getting a raise")
caramarie: Misa icon. (misa)
Cara Marie ([personal profile] caramarie) wrote2025-08-30 01:28 pm

A wild vid rec appeared

Vienna
[personal profile] aguntoaknifefight made a Death Note musical vid! I'm so impressed! It's about Rem and Misa so also I am emoshe.
fayanora: Cyborg velociraptor by Djinni (Cyborg velociraptor by Djinni)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-27 03:12 pm

Tilly Lockey



This girl had to have both arms amputated when she was a toddler, for reasons I don't recall at the moment. I've been seeing videos about her bionic arms over the years since around 2016 / 2017 when she was around 11 years old. She's 20 now, and 19 in this video with the most recent iteration of her bionic arms. Though I also love the older Spider Gwen design at the 4:43 mark.

Also, around 2:40 she takes one of the hands off and puts it on the coffee table, showing it can move remotely almost like Thing from the Addams Family.
scaramouche: Kerry Ellis as Elphaba from Wicked (elphaba reaching)
Annie D ([personal profile] scaramouche) wrote2025-08-27 11:15 am

Book Log: Apocalypse: A History of the End of Time

Another weathered book from the back of the unread books drawer, and not very thick, so it's a light read I finished pretty much over a weekend I was away from home. John Michael Greer's Apocalypse: A History of the End of Time follows the history of what he describes as "the apocalypse meme" (the book was published in 2012), as in the infectious idea of the apocalypse, which Greer argues originated proper by Zarathustra, by adding the idea of "An End" to the understanding of the the cyclical nature of the seasons, years, and cosmic movements.

Very fun read, as Greer goes all the way from Zoroastrianism to the 2012 Mayan calendar scare (that really was everywhere for a hot minute), covering various famous and some less-famous (to me) apocalyptic movements in history, including Millerism, Heaven's Gate, Y2K, Kurzweil's Singularity (is that tied to the current AI movement? I should look it up). Though because Greer gave good early depth to apocalyptic concepts as developed by post-Babylon exile Judaism and later New Kingdom Christianity, I thought he would do the same for Islam and other Eastern beliefs but uhhhhh no, the book is Western-centric, I don't know why I keep playing myself.

But still a good, brisk read, and I do like that he explores exactly (though not too deeply) what it is about the apocalyptic meme that attracts people so, with the promise of justice in an unfair world, and being able to let all of your problems go to the promise that it will all be resolved by someone who is not me/you/us. And with that note he ends quite critical of that, by arguing that we need to help each other and protect each other, which is difficult work but necessary every day.
fayanora: flutterbyes (flutterbyes)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-26 08:29 am

Just the facts

As to the whole "Ms. Rachel" thing = Wanting all children in the world to be fed, watered, warm, safe, whole, and loved should be the default. If you don't want one or more of those things for any/all kids for any reason at all, you are evil and should not be allowed anywhere near children.
fayanora: Dakota F says Eh? (Dakota F says Eh?)
The Djao'Mor'Terra Collective ([personal profile] fayanora) wrote2025-08-26 08:06 am

WTF?

I have an upset stomach this morning. Very weird. I haven't had an upset stomach in an entire decade. It's been so long I didn't even know my stomach could get upset anymore. Not sure what happened.

I'd take Pepto Bismol for it, but that stopped working for me a looong time ago, & I don't have any.

I mean yeah, I get diarrhea at least once a week because of my IBS, but that's not the same thing as an upset stomach. Upset stomach means very distinct stinky belches. So weird waking up to that after all this time.
marina: (don't leave me here)
Marina ([personal profile] marina) wrote2025-08-25 10:23 pm

(no subject)

A life update in no particular order:

depressing things )

- My one shred of Nice Things. Before leaving my wonderful supportive boss got me a little vacation time over the holidays. So, this is by no means advisable (but neither is living through *gestures at the news*), but I'm going to be in London in the middle of September.

So, let me know if you:

- would like to meet in London
- would like to meet in some other part of England?? I don't think I'll make it up to Scotland but I could maybe do a daytrip somewhere outside of London
- Would like to meet in Paris? (I haven't been back there since I was 12 and am vaguely considering for that to be my daytrip)
caramarie: Youngjae with the gun. (youngjae)
Cara Marie ([personal profile] caramarie) wrote2025-08-25 09:22 pm

I have watched five episodes of Trigger now

After finding a stash of bullets at the scene of a suicide, followed by a mass shooting at a hostel, cop Lee Do suspects, given tight gun control laws, that something more is going on than just random violence. Someone is sending guns to people.

Let me describe Lee Do. He is very lovely and kind to people like the bereaved mother protesting outside the company where her son died on the job. He does not take a gun on patrol, for backstory reasons, and refuses the idea of promotion. But! He is super skilled in combat situations. He plays cat-and-mouse with shooters, in the role of the mouse. He can take out a dozen gangsters with knives. Also he rides a motorbike and wears a leather jacket off duty. He is played by Kim Nam-gil so he’s very handsome but in an approachable kind of way. ‘Look how cool our hero is!’ says the show, and I am willing to agree.

(I read a ridiculous film studies essay on the female warrior figure in HK girls with guns films the other day, which implied these characters were an unrealistic fantasy, as if the equivalent male character is any less a fantasy! I thought about this during Lee Do’s fight scenes.)

However, the main reason I decided to watch this was because Kim Young-kwang is in it. They therefore rudely did not have him show up till the very end of the second episode. His character Moon Baek is even more ridiculous.

You get his backstory in episode 5Which is that he was abandoned as a baby and raised for his organs – he has one eye taken before he is shipped off to America where he is rescued mid-organ-theft surgery – and who after killing the men who wanted to steal his organs (after a time skip) impressed an illegal firearms dealer who adopts him, and gets him a new eye, but one eye is blue, so actually he has different coloured eyes!! Amazing. What an awful lot of choices were made in that backstory.

But it is a fun show. I am judging myself a little for how much I am enjoying it. But even if it’s ridiculous, it’s a well made ridiculous, with a cast I can enjoy, and I feel I shall have no regrets.